A Guide to Surviving the Bakersfield Tea Party for Politicians

[Note: I wrote this as an op-ed piece for publication by the local daily newspaper in Bakersfield, California in hopes that it would help promote the local tax day tea party. It's a fun populist dig at elected officials and should be just as relevant to your hometown as it was to mine.]

During the last month, angry taxpayers have assembled throughout the United States to participate in what many are calling modern day tea parties. Tens of thousands have shown up at the largest of these events to carry signs protesting excessive spending, socialistic trends, and tax increases. Now, on April 15th, concerned citizens in Bakersfield are getting their chance to participate at “The Bakersfield Tax Day Tea Party.” The event is scheduled for 4:30 PM in front of Kern County Superior Court so that those who are frustrated by bailouts and boondoggles can send a message to politicians.

For those politicians concerned that they may end up getting skewered when the metaphorical pitchforks come out, I thought I’d prepare this friendly column on how to survive a Bakersfield tea party rebellion.

First, understand the outrage. As your ordinary, unelected friends and neighbors re-evaluate their personal, family, and business budgets during these tough times, they find themselves asking questions like: Do I really need this, can I settle for something different for less, and how can I try to make what I already have last longer? When they get the impression their government thinks it doesn’t have to answer these difficult questions, they become inclined to chant “Revolt, Repeal, Recall” and send you tea bags with news clippings about record-setting spending from Washington and record-setting tax increases from Sacramento.

Second, show some commitment to common-sense. Begin by asking for suggestions from people here at home about reducing government spending based on their efforts at cutting back in their own budgets. Put up a website, hold a town hall, or launch a contest to find the best real-world measures for fiscal restraint. Ask your colleagues around the city, county, and country to do the same and begin compiling a master-list of constituent cost control measures.

During the next spending debate, you can demand that those driving the momentum to spend more pause in their zeal in order to justify why they can’t implement your list of constituent ideas for cutting costs and eliminating waste.

Now, you might be concerned that this list of popular suggestions from your increasingly not-so-silent majority constituents isn’t workable because government budgeting is more complex in its scope and constrained in its procedure than the budgeting constituents do at home. Others may argue that penny-pinching on operations doesn’t mean much in the face of entitlement spending and commitments to pensions. There is a sliver of truth in these objections, but they fail to address the concern sparking the revolution, namely, that government has become too comfortable with the idea of waste and too willing to tax to support it. Entitlement reform and deregulation are necessary long-term goals you should articulate, but merely memorizing your favorite lecture lines or soundbites is not going to satisfy this rebellious crowd. They are tired of hearing the right commitment to less spending in speeches and then seeing something different in terms of results; now they are ready for their ideas to be heard.

The Bakersfield Tax Day Tea Party should serve as a wake-up call, but it should also be viewed as an opportunity. If you follow the simple two-step process I’ve suggested above, you’re likely not only to survive this tea party, but you may have tea partiers marching to support you during the next rebellion. If you are brave, you can go to the courthouse on April 15th, but don’t play politician or pontificate. Instead, bring your tea bags, listen, learn, and, most importantly, don’t forget to take notes.